WHERE I BELONG

My clients are awesome. I learn so much from them. They are all different ages, from all over the world, from all different faiths, who they love. I’m often fortunate enough to bear witness to their soul questions. Soul questions are the deep questions that sometimes have no words to form them, just vibration and feeling. My clients are so externally different, yet somehow the common soul question of 2020 has been:

Where do I belong?

A lot of what we’ve been seeing come up in the collective consciousness this year has to do with education (see my most recent article for MBG on maturity here). Growing up we are told to sit and listen, to not ask questions, to not ask why, to not think for ourselves, to stay inside, to do what we are told, taught that one answer is right the other is wrong, we are conditioned to fit in, conditioned to believe different is wrong, or worse — dangerous. 

Don’t you think that those who set out to divide and conquer us know of our conditioning? Who knows this is a collective weakness that can be exploited and used to gain power or whatever else the viciousness in them seeks? And imagine what you will buy, how much you will put up with, how much you will consume to try and escape the void of loneliness that division like this creates?

And how does one become so power hungry? 

From feeling like they don’t belong. 

The December 14th New Moon and solar eclipse in the sign of Sagittarius has us imagining a world with an education system where imagination is celebrated as eternity. Where our differences are celebrated as ways we can learn from each other. A world where we all have the right to believe what we want to. Imagine what could be resolved and invented if we were taught to believe in ourselves and each other, to think big...

I will tell you a little story… 

When I was in second grade the kids in class had a nickname for me; Weirdo. 

And I get it. Other than hand-me-down outfits that didn’t fit the only label I wore was a learning disability. Instead of playing with everyone at recess, I collected rocks and studied them with a geology book. Somehow, I didn’t take offense to this nickname, I found it flattering…why fit in?  A couple of years later, I befriended a person who was also a bit of a misfit, with eyes like a cat that held a lineage of the land of Mother of Mothers. Meeting her made me understand that angelic energy works through people from time to time. She changed my nickname. She said you are not “Weirdo” you are “Unique.” She mirrored to me the power of owning my energy, owning who I am. 

I knew that where I was born wasn’t home. I knew those who surrounded me weren’t my people. When I went to NYC for the first time I knew... A city of misfits and outcasts, a city of Weirdos, so many different people from so many different places doing so many different things, yes, here is home. And it turns out not fitting in has done pretty well for me...

Now I tell my child, “My love don’t fit in, fit out.”

When you don’t fit in with any one, you are able to hold space for everyone. 

The Winter Solstice on December 21st is the darkest day of the year and is a powerful time to observe shadowy energy. For example, When you go on social media, read the news, or watch tv you are being conditioned on how to fit in, to not ask questions, that different is wrong. But we humans are essentially curious creatures, we want to ask, why? We want to ask, how? 

Sometimes there are questions we could never know the answer to. Because we are so uncomfortable with mystery, we settle for others assumptions and get sucked into pandora’s box-type rabbit-holes exposing our gentle spirits to nauseatingly vile evil. We can waste so much time this way, we can miss the most precious simple moments of our lives, lose ourselves. And you know what they say, “when you assume you make an ass out of u and me.”

Most people want to do their best, and because of that a lot of these rabbit-holes we find ourselves in are from trying to do the right thing. And woe the moment when you dare to ask questions, don’t feel how you are “supposed” to or disagree with the loud assumptions of righteous bullies. So confused by all the noise you silence your inner voice, doubt yourself, and begin to lose faith in human-kindness. Check out my most recent article for Keys Soulcare. 

December 29th, the full moon rises in the sign of Cancer and again you ask... 

Where do I belong?

But My Wild Beloved, 

You are, we all are, a child of earth and sky. You belong to the stars you were born under and the earth that received you as you left the safety and warmth of mother’s womb. You belong to water. You belong to the sparrows and the sunsets, the ridges and rainbows. You belong to strangers and sunshine. You belong to the sounds of waterfalls, cleansing winds, wolves singing, bees laughter and children playing. You belong to the solstices and equinoxes, the moon and her phases, you belong to change. You belong to yourself, the wise heart and the wild spirit. 

Outsider come in. Come in from the illusion of loneliness. Into the inner hearth of belonging. You are Nature. Earth is your body, Water is your blood, Wind is your breath and Fire is your spirit. You are Nature and You Belong here.

try this ritual for belonging

Place your hands on your heart and say it; “I Belong Here.” 

Beloved, you repair your past selfishness with all that you give. We have all made mistakes. All is forgiven so come home.

You are Forgiven You are Forgiveness

You are Loved You Are Love 

You Are Freedom You are Free

Come home.